I touched it.

My session today was interesting.  While waiting in the lobby, I was trying to think of something to talk about.  I figured, "today will probably be a bit of a waste."  I almost fell asleep.  The door opened, and I walked into her office and took my usual seat by the window.  The first 20 minutes were small talk...well, actually no...I was beating around the bush.  But today she wasn't going to take it.  She chased.

She called me a flip flopper.

She said that on one hand I claim to be an open book to people...on the other hand I am terrified with people.  She said there is a gap.

I could feel myself getting cornered.  Time to run...but their was nowhere to go.  An emotion was coming...must run...must hide...

Then I felt like a bad person...I was cornered.  I don't know exactly what made me feel like a bad person, but it was a mixture of anger, shame, anxiety... I felt bad.

I need to run...but where.  She had me. Wait...stop...don't run...grab it...

"I feel bad. I feel like a bad person."

She asked, "Why?"

"I don't know."

She replied, "Was it hard for you to tell me that?"

"Yes...no...yes...no"

"What happened in there?" she asked, "How were you able to tell what you were feeling?"

"I stopped running, and I got on top of it.  I trapped it."

"How do you feel now."

"Better."